I recently finished reading The Way by Swann’s (In Search of Lost Time), Volume 1, by Marcel Proust.
Or as they say in France, À la recherche du temps perdu!
I liked it!

I never know what to say when I write a review about a book I have read. What is there to say other than I liked it, or I didn’t like it?
But as I tend to use 1,000 words when 10 would be adequate I’m sure I’ll manage to write something more than - I liked it!

Marcel Proust is often referred to as the greatest French novelist, and possibly the greatest European novelist, of the 20th century.
I knew this, having read it several times, before I began reading The Way by Swann’s.
I had also read many reviews which stated that reading the work of Marcel Proust is a challenge, a difficult task, and that his words form sentences, that from paragraphs without a break, which go on and on for several pages.
Having read this opinion on more than one occasion, I had put off of reading Proust despite ‘In Search of Lost Time’ living happily on our bookshelves for many years.
One evening I finally decided to read The Way by Swann’s because I had nothing else to read; I was waiting for a delivery from Amazon.

After reading all of the fluff; General Editor’s Preface, and the Translator’s Introduction, which covered 14 and 15 pages respectively, I was too tired to actually start reading the words of Proust - small print and imperfect eyesight were to blame!
Anyway, the following morning I finally began to read The Way by Swann’s, Part I: Combray, and even after reading only the very first sentence; “For a long time, I went to bed early”, which was only 9 words in length (Thanks to my OCD I often count the number of words in each sentence that I read)! I knew that I liked it!

I had been expecting this book to be difficult to read, but found the complete opposite to be true.
Yes, Proust may take his time, delay the ‘action’, and use long sentences, but I found it very easy to read.
In fact I was slightly disappointed that The Way by Swann’s was so easy and quick to read, as for years I had put off of reading Proust because I thought it would be hard work, and as far as I am concerned ‘work’ is a four letter word.

The Way by Swann’s is split into three sections, Part I: Combray, Part II: A Love of Swann’s, and Part III: Place-names: the Name.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading each of the three sections, but I especially enjoyed Part II: A Love of Swann’s. I loved reading about the relationship between Charles Swann and Odette de Crécy.

Living here in France I suppose it would have been more appropriate to have read the original French text, but my French is at best - poor, so I read the English translation by Lydia Davis, not the C.K. Scott Montcrieff translation which is reportedly not as literal as Davis’ translation.
Each volume of this edition of ‘In Search of Lost Time’ is translated by a different translator working under the general editorship of Professor Christopher Prendergast, University of Cambridge.

There was one thing I didn’t particularly enjoy whilst reading The Way By Swann’s, and that was the uncontrollable obsession I felt to flick to the back of the book to the ‘Notes’ section whenever a number was printed by a word.
I blame this obsession on my OCD, because despite the fact that I rarely needed any of the words or phrases explained to me, I couldn’t resist reading what the notes said.
I found the little numbers and the notes in general unnecessary, and whilst I appreciate that iy may be possible that some readers may have needed even the simplest words explained to them, I felt as though the translator was patronising, and disparaging the intelligence of the reader.

Having rambled on as usual, most of which is crap! I did enjoy reading The Way By Swann’s (In Search of Lost Time, Volume 1), By Marcel Proust, and I intend to read the other volumes in the future.

SWITZERLAND

One of the Queen’s guardsman failed to keep his cool when a student took the mickey out of him by mimicking his actions outside a royal palace.
The usually calm and collected Guardsman lost his cool and went on the attack.

Columbian student Nick Ibarra, 23, was messing about for his friend Suzanne Cadosch, 22, as she recorded him on video.

The armed guard wearing bearskin and red tunic was marching up and down on sentry duty outside St James Palace in front of dozens of tourists, as laughing Nick Ibarra mimicked him by marching alongside him.
Tourist Nick had heard that the famous royal guards never leave their post unless a threat to the royals presents itself.
But he got the shock of his life when this particular guard lost his cool and quick marched over to him clipping him round the back of the head and aiming his boot at him.

Nick then reportedly said that the guard pushed him away with his SA-80 semi automatic rifle while letting out a furious roar.
Unfortunately Nick’s student friend Suzanne Cadosch was so shocked and scared that she stopped filming the soldier’s attack.
Suzanne said, “I just thought “Oh My God” he’s got a gun and he’s going for Nick and he grabbed him and tried to boot him and we were so shocked we just ran away fast.
“You often see people pulling faces at the guards and standing beside them for photo’s and marching along with them but obviously this soldier didn’t find it funny.
“In hindsight I can understand the soldier losing his cool but it was very frightening indeed.”

Nick Ibarra, who is studying English in Oxford, Oxon, said, “I felt this huge hand on my collar and managed to avoid a boot up the backside but he was growling like a bear.
“I was worried because he had a bayonet on his gun and didn’t want that going somewhere painful!
“He pushed me away with the gun and I just ran for it.”

The guardsman was on sentry duty at St James Palace which is the senior Palace of the Sovereign and is where the Princess Royal and Princess Alexandra reside.
The St Jame’s Detatchment of The Queen’s Guard mounts sentry duty there daily and Clarence House where Prince Charles and his sons live is within St James’s environs.

A Queen’s guardsman, on being shown the video, said, “On one hand you can understand him wanting to put a hobnailed size 12 up the guy’s backside for taking the p**s.
“But on the other hand he will be in hot water for losing his cool when he should have ignored it.
“He should have gone back into his sentry box and just stood guard.
“But he will no doubt feel very satisfied at putting this oik to flight.”

Nick Ibarra - you are the weakest link ……. or is that the missing link?!

SWAZILAND

Time will say nothing but I told you so,
Time only knows the price we have to pay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

If we should weep when clowns put on their show,
If we should stumble when musicians play,
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

There are no fortunes to be told, although,
Because I love you more than I can say,
If I could tell you I would let you know.

The winds must come from somewhere when they blow,
There must be reasons why the leaves decay;
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

Perhaps the roses really want to grow,
The vision seriously intends to stay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

Suppose all the lions get up and go,
And all the brooks and soldiers run away;
Will Time say nothing but I told you so?
If I could tell you I would let you know.

by W.H. Auden

SRI LANKA

These cufflinks are mildly amusing for a piece of cheap tat!
Tatty Devine ~ Price Ticket Cufflinks £24.

SPAIN

Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling, and Peter Mandelson were flying to a world economic summit.
Peter looks at Alistair and chuckles, “You know, I could throw a £50 note out of the window right now and make one person very happy.”

Alistair shrugs his shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw five £10 notes out of the window and make five people very happy.”

Gordon says, “Of course, but I could throw ten £5 notes out of the window and make ten people very happy.”

The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them, and says, “I could throw all of you out of the window and make the whole country happy.”

SOUTH AFRICA

Barack Obama makes history today by becoming the first black president of the United States of America.

Barack Obama and his wife Michelle at the, We Are One Opening Inaugural Celebration

Barack Hussein Obama II is being hailed as the man responsible for bringing a message of hope to a nation fatigued by war, blighted by the current recession, and eager for dramatic change after eight years under the leadership of George W. Bush in the White House.

Crowds of people braving the cold to listen to Obama at celebratory music concert

While I appreciate the significance of Obama’s inauguration, I just don’t care.
Maybe it’s because I am not American, or maybe it’s because I am a cynic, but I am not particularly interested in Barack Obama; I am only writing this post because as the news is so full of Obama stories I couldn’t find much else to write about!

Obama is constantly being referred to as a ‘Black’ man, I honestly do not see the relevance.
Barack Obama may well be a ‘black’ man, but first and foremost he is a ‘politician’, and that is the only fact that the people of America, and everywhere else for that matter, need to remember.

I imagine that not too far in the future those who voted for Barack Obama as a black man will realise that he is purely another politician, who will no doubt fail to uphold his promises and disappoint a lot of people.

There is one other thing I would like to say - but as nothing online is private; ‘Big Brother’ wouldn’t like it, I have resisted the temptation to write what will no doubt occur with Obama in the future ……. it’s pretty obvious and anyone with at least one functioning brain cell is probably thinking the same.
So I will end with …….
Welcome to the White House President Barack Obama - let the fun begin!

PORTUGAL

An MP on his way home from Parliament is stuck in traffic.
Noticing a police officer, he winds down his window and asks, “What’s the hold-up?”

The policeman replies, “The Prime Minister is so depressed he’s stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire.
“He says no one believes he can get us through the credit crunch. So we’re taking up a collection for him.”

The MP asks, “How much have you got so far?”

The police officer replies, “About 40 gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning.”

New Zealand

Hero pilot saved 155 lives as he lands jet in the freezing Hudson River.

The Airbus A320 hit a flock of geese causing the engine of the aeroplane to blow out.
Flight 1549 to Charlotte, North Carolina, crashed near Manhattan’s 48th Street within three minutes of take off from LaGuardia Airport.

Once he managed to dramatically land the plane in the river the pilot, captain Chesley Burnett Sullenberger III, (nicknamed Sully), reportedly calmly walked through the flooded plane twice, to make sure that it was empty before he left.

According to reports yesterday evening, 78 people on board the flight were taken to hospital where their injuries were treated.
Many of those treated in hospital were suffering from exposure after braving temperatures of -7°C whilst they patiently waited on the wings of the plane to be rescued.

New York Governor David Patterson reportedly said, “We have had a Miracle on 34th Street — now I think we had a Miracle on the Hudson.
“This was a heroic act from the pilot who saved himself and everyone else on board.
“This must now count as one of the most spectacular days in the history of New York in terms of our public agencies and all they did for the passengers who will tonight go home to their families.”

Sully, (Chesley Burnett Sullenberger III), definitely deserves praise, he is a hero, and it’s clearly thanks to his skill and calm self control that so many people survived.

It makes a refreshing change to hear a happy ending resulting from what could have been a tragic news story.
Well done Sully, I’m sure he will be receiving lots of Thank You cards and gifts from his passengers and their families during the next few days.

THE NETHERLANDS

I like this piece, I don’t know what’s it called? It’s by Nicolas Uribe.
I like the echo effect of the arms, and the foggy lighting, and pale colours.

MOZAMBIQUE

Natalie Dylan, (not her real name) is a skint student, who has decided to auction her virginity.
Apparently more than 100,000 bids have already been placed, and the price has reached £2.6 million.

The current top bidder is reportedly a 39-year-old Australian businessman who made the offer via Natalie’s website.
American, Natalie revealed her plan to sell her virginity on shock jock Howard Stern’s radio show last year.
She said that she came up with the idea after her older sister Avia funded her University studies by working as a prostitute for three weeks.
Natalie received quite a lot of criticism from women, and allegations from men, over the validity of her virginity claims.

Apparently Natalie has said that she would welcome a bid from a celebrity, specifically Kim Kardashian. Speaking about Kim Kardashian Natalie said, “She’s really beautiful … but … I’m heterosexual. I just admire her beauty.”

Speaking about offering her virginity for sale, Natalie said, “It’s not like an eBay auction. I don’t have to take the highest bidder.
“I’m taking time to get to know the guys. We contact each other back and forth.
“I’m selling my virginity, it’s a one time thing and I’m definitely willing to work with them.”

Natalie, who is keeping her real name a secret, spoke for the first time during an appearance on Tyra Banks’ talkshow in America.
Natalie, of San Diego, chatted to Tyra Banks alongside a wrinkly 59-year-old, who was at the time, in the running.

Accusations of lies about the status of her virginity are all over the internet, as the bidding continues to rise.
But Natalie has defended her decision, saying, “I think people misconstrue virginity with being prudes.
“I’m definitely not; I’m very open-minded to what they want to do.
“I think this is about being pro-choice with your body. I completely plan on following through with this act.
“I know that a lot of people will condemn me for this because it’s so taboo but I really don’t have a problem with it.”

If Natalie goes ahead and sells her virginity, she won’t be the first to make the sale online.
In 2004, a lesbian student from the University of Bristol reportedly sold her virginity online for £8,400.
Londoner Rosie Reid, 18, reportedly slept with a 44-year-old BT engineer in a hotel room in Euston, London, after he purchased her virginity.
She didn’t enjoy the experience.
According to reports at the time, she said afterwards, “It was horrible. I felt nervous and scared.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Being true to my contradictory nature, I think that if this woman wants to sell her virginity then that’s her choice.
If she is indeed a virgin, and she’s not particularly bothered, about how or to whom, she loses her virginity, and there are men out there who are either stupid enough or rich enough, to part with millions of pounds for a shag with a stranger, then good for them!
But I also think selling your virginity online for millions of pounds is rather sad.
It sounds as though ‘Natalie’ has thought this through, and hopefully if she does go through with it she won’t regret it.
Once it’s done, it can’t be undone.
But it’s only sex, and it’s only money, and there are many people who have done far worse than sell their body, and for a lot less than £2.6 million!

I can’t think of anything I would do for £2.6 million, but then as it is highly unlikely that anyone is ever going to offer me £2.6 million, I don’t need to try and think of any such scenarios!

MALAWI