A young woman goes to church to confess her sins to the priest.
“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” Says the woman.
The priest says, “Tell me all of your sins, my daughter.”
The woman replies, “Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend made hot, passionate love to me seven times.”
The priest thinks about this long and hard, and finally he says, “Take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass, and drink it.”
“Will this cleanse my soul of my sins?” says the woman.
“No” says the priest, “but it’ll wipe that smile off your face!”

The Comedy Club

I WROTE my name upon the sand,
And trusted it would stand for aye;
But, soon, alas! the refluent sea
Had washed my feeble lines away.

I carved my name upon the wood,
And, after years, returned again;
I missed the shadow of the tree
That stretched of old upon the plain.

To solid marble next, my name
I gave as a perpetual trust;
An earthquake rent it to its base,
And now it lies, o’erlaid with dust.

All these have failed. In wiser mood
I turn and ask myself, “What then?”
If I would have my name endure,
I’ll write it on the hearts of men,

In characters of living light,
Of kindly deeds and actions wrought.
And these, beyond the touch of time,
Shall live immortal as my thought.

by Horatio Alger (1832-1899)

This is Water and wine 1981, by Francesco Clemente.
I like it, nothing more to say.

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the Princess’ lap and said, “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in your castle with my Mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.”

That night, on a repast of lightly sauteed frogs legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought, “I don’t think so!”

 The Comedy Club

I don’t like these shoes, they are clunky and frumpy! But I had to post them because whilst I am not loving the shoe itself, I love the heel, it’s cool.
These clunky monstrosities are Kors By Michale Kors, black patent leather shoes with a 115mm cut-out; cool wedge heel. They have crisscross straps across toes, a cut away side panel, and a peep-toe. €232.

We have had a few days of very mild weather and lots of our bulbs have sprung to life including some daffodils, all of which made me think of this poem.

I WANDERED lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of the bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company
I gazed — and gazed — but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

by: William Wordsworth (1770-1850)

How cool is this cinema? I think it’s fantastic, and being a Tv addict if I had the money I would definitely have something similar, alas I’d need a huge lottery win first!

This seriously cool outdoor cinema is part of a property that’s nestled in the Hollywood Hills, Hagy Belzberg-designed Skyline residence. Imagine being able to relax on your sofa whilst watching a movie on an enormous open-air screen, the screen is on one of the outer walls of the guesthouse.
This property is pretty cool, it’s all clean lines and glass walls, and open spaces, the 5,800-square-foot skyline residence also has large terraces and patios and a 65-foot infinity pool and spa.
Apparently it took 13 people from Belzberg Architects to come up with the design of this home.
I say job well done, now what can I watch?

Lottery Scams

A man enters a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to purchase a pet that can do everything.

The shop owner helpfully says, “What about a faithful dog?

The man replies, “Come on, a dog?”

The shop owner says, “How about a cat?”
The man replies, “No way! A cat can’t do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!”

The shop owner thinks for a while and then he says, “I’ve got it! A centipede!”

The man says,”A centipede? I can’t imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay … I’ll try a centipede.”

He takes his new pet home and says to the centipede, “Clean the kitchen.”

Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and … it’s immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed. He’s absolutely amazed.

So he says to the centipede, “Go clean the living room.”

Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; plants watered. The man thinks to himself, ‘This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!’

Next he says to the centipede, “Run down to the corner shop and get me a newspaper.”
The centipede walks out the door. Ten minutes later … no centipede. Twenty minutes later … no centipede. Thirty minutes later … no centipede.

By this point the man is wondering what’s going on. So he goes to the front door, opens it … and there’s the centipede sitting right outside.

The man says, “Hey!! I sent you down to the corner shop 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What’s the matter?!”

The centipede says, “I’m going! I’m going! I’m just putting on my shoes!”

Last year a stray cat, or so we thought at the time, decided to bring her three newborn kittens to our house. We took the mother and her kittens in and looked after them until they moved onto to their new homes.
The stray cat got pregnant again, but there were no kittens, they either died or she didn’t go full term?
Now the stray cat has had another three kittens, although she isn’t actually a stray, she belongs to our neighbour. Or at least she used to until she was replaced by a dog.
Two of the kittens are the exact doubles of two from the previous litter. Obviously they are not ours so we haven’t named them, but we call them ‘The Big One’, ‘Pretty’, and ‘Blackie’, all self explanatory although not very imaginative.
It’s the Big One and Blackie who are doubles for their siblings from last years litter, it’s kind of spooky. But while they may look alike their personalities are the exact opposite.
Last years Big One was shy and skittish, this years big one is bold and brave. Last years Blackie was bold and brave and inquisitive, this years Blackie is shy and wary.
Richard and I are feeding the kittens and their mother, and so is our neighbour who lives at the rear of our house. The neighbour who owns/owned the mother cat knows about the kittens and even went so far as to re-home the Big One, but it only lasted overnight as he/she was too frightened by the upheaval to eat, and his new owners returned him/her.
Richard and I and the lady who also feeds them have all been trying to socialise the kittens, but it’s not easy. They have spent so long hiding away in an unused building that they were all verging on being feral, but we seem to be making progress with them now. The Big One lets us stroke him and he likes to play, and for the last few days Richard has been able to hand feed Pretty and Blackie. They tentatively grab any morsels he offers them, and yesterday afternoon I also fed them both by hand, although they did bite my fingers once or twice.
We knew the cat was pregnant again but she disappeared for a few days and when she returned clearly no longer pregnant we thought the kittens had died, as they were born outside and it was very cold when they were born.
We didn’t know our neighbour at the rear had been looking after them. I’m not sure how old they are now, but they seem happy and healthy which is amazing considering their start in life. Unfortunately they haven’t had any of their required jabs etc, and it looks as though our other neighbour and owner of the cat is going to let them roam free now. They must be about 4 months old, and they all eat a lot, I guess being outside when it’s cold means they need more food.
It’s such a shame that they haven’t got proper homes, and if it were up to us we would sort it out, but these situations are difficult especially when you live a a small village, and we are the foreigners!
The mother cat should really be steralised, as she is very small herself and it can’t be good for her to continue to have babies, although she probably couldn’t be steralised now as I saw her getting frisky with the kittens father yesterday. So it looks like it won’t be long before there are three more kittens, it’s crazy, and irresponsible of the cats ‘owner’ to let this continue, but what can we do? Our other neighbour who is also feeding the kittens has asked her what she plans to do, and apparently the conversation involved a lot of shoulder shrugging?

Last Years ‘Big One’ ~ This Years ‘Big One’ & ‘Pretty’

Last Years ‘Blackie’ ~ This Years ‘Blackie’

The sun has gone in, the night is taking over and this image makes me feel cheerful.
Lips 2000 by the wonderful Jeff Coons.

The Art Gallery